My Way of Conducting Shibari Sessions

Shibari, to me, is not just about tying knots or creating shapes. It is a profoundly personal and dynamic process of connection. Every session is unique because it is built on the foundation of feeling, intuition, and the moment we share. What I want to share here is not a guide or a set of instructions but an insight into how I navigate my sessions and the decisions I make. This is my way, shaped by years of experience, and something I do naturally. I want you to see the process through my eyes, to understand the complexity, the flow, and what it truly means to tie “by feeling.”

Before the Session: Building the Foundation

Everything begins long before the ropes come into play. For me, a session starts with knowing the person I’m about to tie. This is not just about asking questions but feeling the energy between us. I pay attention to how they move, how they respond to my presence, and the subtleties in their voice and body language.
Some people come to me with clear intentions; they might want to explore their limits, experience something meditative, or just feel the rope’s embrace. Others don’t know exactly what they want, and that’s fine. My role in these moments is to create a space where they can discover what they’re looking for without pressure.
I don’t rush this stage. I might spend an hour or more just talking, sharing tea, or even sitting in silence. This time is crucial. It allows me to read their emotions, understand their boundaries, and align our energies. Sometimes, I ask simple questions like, “How do you feel today?” or “Is there anything on your mind?” These conversations are not interviews but an exchange of trust. By the time I pick up the ropes, I already feel like I know how to approach them.

The Session: Tying by Feeling

When I start tying, I rarely have a specific plan. I let my hands move naturally, guided by the energy between us. This is what I mean by “tying by feeling.” It’s not about following an algorithm or pre-set patterns. It’s about responding to the person in front of me, moment by moment.
The process is fluid and ever-changing. One moment, the rope might feel like an extension of my hands, gently wrapping around their body, creating a sense of security and warmth. Next, it might become a tool for tension, for challenge, for exploration. I watch how they breathe, how their muscles react, and even how their eyes move. Every little detail informs my next step.
Sometimes, I pause. Not to think but to feel. To listen. The silence in these moments is just as important as the tying itself. It’s a chance for both of us to reflect on what’s happening, to adjust, and to stay present in the moment.
I don’t see Shibari as something static. It’s a dance, a conversation without words. And like any meaningful conversation, it requires deep attention and empathy. My goal is not to perform or impress but to connect—to create something that feels alive and real.

After the Session: Reflection and Care

Untying is as much a part of the process as tying. I do it slowly, intentionally, unless there’s a reason to move quickly. This is a time to bring the person back from the experience, to ground them. Aftercare is not a one-size-fits-all concept. For some, it’s a hug or a few reassuring words. For others, it might be a blanket, water, or simply being left alone for a while.
I never assume what someone needs; I ask. And I listen. This moment is delicate because they are often vulnerable, their emotions raw and open. Acting in a way that aligns with their expectations and comfort is essential.
Once they’ve had a chance to recover, we usually talk. Not immediately, but when they’re ready. These conversations are invaluable. I might ask about specific moments in the session—how they felt, and what they experienced. I also share my perspective: “When I saw you close your eyes at that moment, I felt this. What was it like for you?” This exchange deepens our understanding of each other and enriches the connection we’ve built.
I always thank them. It’s not just politeness; it’s genuine gratitude. They’ve trusted me with their body and emotions, and that’s a gift I don’t take lightly.

The Bigger Picture: What Shibari Means to Me

For me, a Shibari session is not about safety or perfection—it’s about connection. The risk is always there, just as it is in anything meaningful. We don’t do this because it’s safe; we do it because it’s profound because it touches something deep within us.
Every session is a journey, not just for the person I tie but for me as well. It’s an opportunity to explore, to feel, to create something unique and unrepeatable. And while I can’t teach this process step by step—because it’s not about steps—it’s important for me to share that it’s possible. That this kind of connection, this depth, exists.
This is my understanding of what a real Shibari session means: a strong connection between two people, built on trust, intuition, and presence. And for me, that’s what makes it truly meaningful.

A Rare Experience

It’s important to note that these types of sessions are rare. When I tie for performances, practices, photoshoots, or teaching, it’s not the same. Those moments have their own beauty, but they are not sessions in the sense I’ve described here. Sessions like these are unique experiences, not something that happens every time I pick up the rope. And that’s part of what makes them so special.